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Monday, Oct 26th, 2009 ↓
Grow a spine you wimps: Are you as tired as I am of these people who whinge on about the Web being too big and free and open and rich for their fragile little brains to cope with? After centuries millenia of restricted access to knowledge being something every hipster should be heard moaning about, it’s now suddenly cool to complain that there’s just ‘too much information‘ out there and that you can’t cope. Yeah man, it’s just too heavy. It’s like you could spend all day every day online, but you still can’t take it all in and it’s completely ruining your life, and making you feel worthless. To be fair, it’s the same type of people now complaining that there’s just too much knowledge who always tell you – unprompted – about the the unearthly hour they got up as a way of asserting their moral superiority over anyone who got up at a more sensible time. They’re the same people who never miss an opportunity to tell you how many days they’ve had without any sleep because they are SOOO busy, and how little they’ve eaten… ever. Now, the Web offers these idiots a new opportunity to demonstrate self-worth – through another melodramatic and yet pointless piece of self-denial. But it’s better than that, the Web also provides a massive new audience of gullible fools people to bore on to. I had to check to see if this article from the NY Times website was some sort of hoax – it’s called “Stop Your Search Engines” (headline writer possibly suffering from Continual Partial Attention disorder). In it, they describe an Apple Desktop App called Freedom -  created for people who feel the need for a “strategy” to help them deal with the temptation of the modern world’s super-abundance of knowledge. It works like this. I can’t believe anyone wasted any valuable moments of their lives programming Freedom. Your modem and your system preferences will both do this. You do not need an App. And there is also this button on all computers that just turns them off. If you that’s not good enough for you but you live inside the M25, then why not DM and I’ll come round your house with a baseball bat to smash your equipment up. I call this programme of self-realisation ‘Total Freedom’ and it costs £50 a pop. Drop me a line.
Grow a spine you wimps:

Are you as tired as I am of these people who whinge on about the Web being too big and free and open and rich for their fragile little brains to cope with?

After centuries millenia of restricted access to knowledge being something every hipster should be heard moaning about, it’s now suddenly cool to complain that there’s just ‘too much information‘ out there and that you can’t cope. Yeah man, it’s just too heavy. It’s like you could spend all day every day online, but you still can’t take it all in and it’s completely ruining your life, and making you feel worthless.

To be fair, it’s the same type of people now complaining that there’s just too much knowledge who always tell you – unprompted – about the the unearthly hour they got up as a way of asserting their moral superiority over anyone who got up at a more sensible time. They’re the same people who never miss an opportunity to tell you how many days they’ve had without any sleep because they are SOOO busy, and how little they’ve eaten… ever. Now, the Web offers these idiots a new opportunity to demonstrate self-worth – through another melodramatic and yet pointless piece of self-denial. But it’s better than that, the Web also provides a massive new audience of gullible fools people to bore on to.

I had to check to see if this article from the NY Times website was some sort of hoax – it’s called “Stop Your Search Engines” (headline writer possibly suffering from Continual Partial Attention disorder). In it, they describe an Apple Desktop App called Freedom -  created for people who feel the need for a “strategy” to help them deal with the temptation of the modern world’s super-abundance of knowledge.

It works like this.

I can’t believe anyone wasted any valuable moments of their lives programming Freedom. Your modem and your system preferences will both do this. You do not need an App. And there is also this button on all computers that just turns them off. If you that’s not good enough for you but you live inside the M25, then why not DM and I’ll come round your house with a baseball bat to smash your equipment up.

I call this programme of self-realisation ‘Total Freedom’ and it costs £50 a pop. Drop me a line.